By The Regulator
Why can't I ever find any damned kiddy porn lately? You'd think, with today's communication revolution, the information superhighway, and countless Americans who are perverted cyber-nerds, that there would be plenty of child pornography readily available for me to download into my eagerly awaiting and unfortunately meager "kidyporn" directory. What the fuck?

But there are all these righteous community members with "family values," "morals," and "ethics." What right do they have to stop me from looking at the type of porn that arouses me? I want to see naked children in suggestive poses, not some nasty forty year old skank who poses "professionally" for regular pornography. The quality of innocence captured in these pictures by true masters of the art of child porn is something you could never find in the sluts depicted in, say, Hustler, or Penthouse.

"But these poor children will lose that innocence from being in these pictures," say those opposed to child porn. Come on now folks. Give them a few years and they'll lose it anyway. What's the big deal? And don't try to tell me that a few young boys and girls being molested each year is not a price well worth the high quality kiddy porn that should be more widely available. What about the artistic value of the pictures? Just because some psycho got ahold of some child porn and went out and molested his niece, is that any reason to ban the stuff? Hundreds of these same psychos will just get ahold of regular porn and go out and rape women instead! Isn't it worse for a woman to get raped, because she might get pregnant, than for some little kid who isn't gonna remember it anyway to be molested? I think so don't you? So here's what we're gonna do. Everybody go out and rape someone over the age of innocence. Let's say 16, just to be safe. Now when you get arrested, blame it on pornography. If enough of us do this, eventually they'll have to blame everything bad on regular old pornography. This will serve to elevate the reputations of us kiddy porn connoisseurs, allowing us to walk about in broad daylight like everyone else. What a world it would be.

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