Maverick Apologizes For Article

By Mother Goose
Following the publishing of Underground writer Maverick's article, "Attractive, Funny, Intelligent Girl Discovered At Tosa East," reaction from the female student groups prompted Maverick to apologize for the article. In his formal apology Maverick said, "I'd like to apologize to all you whiny, ugly, mean young women out there for reminding you of your shortcomings. I know you don't like to be reminded of them. My article was in bad taste and I apologize for speaking the truth. Sometimes, some subjects should just be left untouched." Maverick also apologized to the males here at East. "Sorry guys, I hope you knew it was a joke. There never has been a pretty, intelligent, funny girl to walk these halls, not even as a visitor."

School counselors will be available for the young men who actually thought a quality girl had graced these halls. Maverick has since promised never to write such an article again.

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