By M. F. Luder
We all know that in three years, Japan will hold the economic community by the balls, finally completing their 50 year plan of world domination. The Man is preparing for this eastern invasion by removing troops from Okinawa and supporting quality movies like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Karate Kid II. The government is not preparing the country for Japan's cartoons, though.

We all grew up with cartoons like Care Bears, Voltron, Thundercats, and He-Man. Now there is nothing wrong with these cartoons, and I still love to watch an hour or two of Care Bears once or twice a week, but it doesn't prepare me for the coming takeover. The biggest differences between Japan and the rest of the world is not the language or the height difference, it's their cartoons. None of the cartoons mentioned above have any gratuitous sex, and very little violence, none of with the striking brutality that that anime (slang for Japanese animation) contains.

I don't want more anime for me, it's for the kids. The government has been hiding our takeover by Japan for years, denying us the chance to prepare for our new Gods, for that is how they will rule us. The Man is keeping us down by not letting our children, our future, experience the explicit, vulgar, and graphic cartoon sex that Japanese men find as a comfort for all of their life. Any country that can draw cocks that are six feet long must be doing something right. Embrace our new Gods; accept their gifts. Rejoice in the flowing of blood on Saturday morning cartoons and celebrate the gang rapes every morning on UPN.

Back to Issue 7