Recently, Jiang Zemin, president of the People's Republic of China visited the United States. What are your feelings on his visit?

Mick Jagger --- Professional Bowler "I thought it was a bit disturbing when he told his limo driver to just 'run over' some protestors in California."

Richard Gere --- Attorney General "Forget about the human rights violations of the Chinese, what about the countless numbers of cats they've killed to put in their food?"

Margaret Thatcher --- Lunch Lady "It's about time some Chinese leaders came over here and bribed President Clinton in person."

Billy Corgan --- Insurance Salesman "Seeing Jiang Zemin get a Philadelphia Flyers jersey reminded me of the time when Mao Zedong was made an honorary member of the KISS army."

Back to Issue 4